In our travels to other countries, my husband always notices how parents really let their kids roam freely and independently even in public places. This is a stark contrast to the normal Filipino way of hovering over our kids — always holding their hand, strapping them into their strollers (even if they’ve outgrown them) or always having a yaya hold onto the backs of their shirts as they walk (I think the innovation of the child leash came from this habit). Although it’s probably smothering, I think it’s more prevalent here because we practice defensive parenting. We always think something bad will happen to our kids — someone not looking may hit them or they’ll touch the escalator railing (the horror!) or the main reason and worst case scenario, someone may kidnap them.
I’ve been seeing lots of horrible news stories of kidnapping attempts locally and even in HK — Disneyland and Toys r Us and they have made me more paranoid about the bad elements in this world. I asked one of our good friends and security expert, Snooky Cruz, for some advice on keeping kids safe in public. Here are some of his OC tips:
- When going to malls, be aware of your surroundings. (Look for things out of place like weird unaccompanied men near play areas.)
- Avoid having your yayas dress in their white or whatever uniform that identifies them as such. It alerts the bad guys that the kid may belong to the upper crust of society and that means money. (OK, I just bought my yaya new uniforms!)
- Never leave kids unattended or even in the trust and care of the yaya in public. Their sense of security and judgement won’t be the same as yours.
- Every time you get to the mall, brief your kid on details — your cell, house phone, address — in case your kid gets lost. Better yet, leave a laminated calling card with contact information in his/her pocket. (We do this while traveling only but I should do this all the time.)
- Teach your kid which strangers are safe to approach like the mall security guard. (I like the Rockwell and Shangri-la guards best. They look most alert.)
- Tell your kid that something may be wrong when an older person asks your kid for help.
- Teach them not to accept anything from strangers.
- Make sure of the security measures of the play gym you intend to leave your kid with. Ask them protocols in case the kid wants to go to the comfort room and it is located outside the play gym facility.
- Best to decide before you go to the mall if you are going shopping for yourself or you are going there to bring your kids around. If you just intend to go shopping and not be bothered, it might best be better to leave them in the safe confines of your home. (And this is the reason why I don’t get to go shopping for myself anymore. Every time we go to the mall, I only see the toy store or a play area.)
A poster I saw on Facebook (via my friend Angie) to raise awareness for the HK kidnapping incidents
I have actually taught my 4yo that if a stranger tries to grab her, she should scream at the top her lungs “Kidnap!”, step on his toes as hard as she can and run as fast as she can to a guard. (I’d have to consult Snooky if that’s the right thing to do.)
Snooky’s firm has been hired for security by some high-profile global people (like Bill Gates who went with his wife to Amanpulo last year) and he’s done seminars for GMA reporters and judges who go around the country. Maybe I should ask him to do a security seminar for us moms.
Keep safe everyone.
©OCMominManila
thanks for the tips kris! i briefed DW’s yaya din on safety. i may have to teach DW na rin about “stranger danger!” really soon.
My problem naman is my daughter is super friendly. Hahaha.
Bakit hindi friendly si M sa kin. Tinatarayan ako sa Kidzville. Haha!
I do that calling card thing but not laminated. I ordered an extra box just for that purpose.
Hey, good idea. Order 1 whole box of “in case I get lost” cards for your kids!
If only we can order baller bands in small quantities lang. I’d have our names and my cell number printed on it.
If only we could permanently tattoo a barcode on them. Hahaha. Sounds like an apocalyptic movie.
I so agree with not letting your kid just with yaya in public. My sis-in-law’s yaya took my nephew out walking in the mall, saying they would stay near. My sis-in-law followed them, observed yaya texting, and was able to get her kid, go back to her office all without the yaya noticing my nephew was gone.
HORROR ang cuentong ito! But that’s a good method actually to see how alert Yaya is! Matakot nga siya.
Oh my God!! Ano ba yon??
What??? I’m guessing she was let go?
Yes right that afternoon.
paalisin si yaya!!!!!!!!
i have heard of this, and I think it is the best tip, that if a stranger takes your child, they should cry out “YOU ARE NOT MY MOMMY/DADDY!” It is not uncommon for a child to scream and cry while being held by an adult, but if this statement is shouted by the child, people around them will know something is wrong.
True, in the poster it says be wary of kids crying but it is common for kids to throw tantrums with their parents. So teaching your kid particular word/s to alert the public that she’s in danger is a good idea.
Thanks for this article. Its a Filipino thing to be defensive most of the time. And yayas need training again and again and again. I dont care if Im makulit. Its my child’s safety anyway.
And Bill Gates was in Amanpulo???
Yes, better be makulit than sorry. And yes, Bill and Melinda Gates went to Amanpulo last year
It’s true — husband’s cousin (Tita Parrot in previous post), commented on how “relaxed” or confident I am here with just letting Sam run ahead several feet away (in certain places lang naman, like a playground we frequent, etc). My first reaction was, “because we’re here. I wouldn’t do that if I were in Manila.”… but you do have a point, stranger danger is everywhere, so we have to be more careful.
I’ve started teaching Sam about not losing me all the time and if in case she can’t see me, to ask someone to call my cellphone number (I have her memorize it)… but I like the idea of the “if lost” tag sewn onto whatever they are wearing or carrying. Maybe we should invent that! I’ll definitely do that when we’re in Manila, I swear.
And then that not leaving of child with yaya in public places unattended… I so agree! (I clearly have trust issues. haha.)
It’s amazing how much trust we actually put into our yayas and drivers when it comes to our kids but I cannot trust them completely. It’s better to be paranoid especially when they’re in public.
I have this rule with yaya that she and Julia must always be “within my sight”. Especially now that my daughter is starting to walk on her own. We all must be vigilant. I am always in awe when I read or watch stories about the latest modus operandi or latest style in kidnapping, stealing or harassing. They are so creative, really! If only they use their resourceful minds to earn an honest living!
Thanks for the helpful tips!
Exactly! They are very efficient and organized. (Is that why it’s called organized crime?) If the government can only work as efficiently as they do …
Thanks for sharing these tips! These are super helpful! A security seminar for moms would be of great help I think. I’d love to attend that.
I would love to attend one too. Haha. I’ll think of something.
Thanks for sharing this! After seeing that creepy guy on FB, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Good thing the yaya wasn’t gullible (she deserves a raise!). I asked my yaya to read the article so she’ll always be alert!
Thanks for the tips! I just bought yaya uniforms rin (sigh!).
My older brother told me that there’s a group of snatchers who prey on older kids. Someone he knows left his 12-year old boy in Timezone (Rockwell, I think) while he bought something. A security-looking man approached him and told him they needed to take him to the mall office because a PSP was stolen (the boy had his PSP on a neck hanger) and they wanted to question him. The frightened kid went with him. The strange man brought him to a dark corner and got his PSP, wallet and cellphone. Good thing about it is he didn’t kidnap the child (maybe he just wanted a quick buck) but the boy is so traumatized he doesn’t want to go to back to the mall anymore!
I heard about that!! That’s a very scary story. Poor kid.
Oh my, just like what M said to me, I should slowly teach G! Parehas tayo, I just bought our helper a new uniform. Tsk! Also, I agree, Shangri la has alert security personnels. They’ll even approach you if you stand a few paces away from your kid’s stroller to remind you to look out for your belongings. With all the horror true stories I’ve been hearing, I can’t help but be more paranoid talaga whenever we’re out. No matter how much I want G to be free & be independent, I make sure talaga I’m near her & scan her surroundings for weird elements. Thanks for the tips!
G is super cuuuute. M thinks her name is Daniella though. I have no idea why.
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hello,
this is a very helpful advice. i want to share this on facebook. thank you very much.
Thanks Jeffrey John
Thank you for the great tips. A security seminar for us moms sounds great. I hope one will be available soon.
I know, right? I’ll think about it.
Really, really, really scary. What’s more frustrating is that you can’t sue if attempted kidnapping lang. Kaya mahuli man while attempting a kidnapping, wala rin. Kailangan successfully makidnap talaga. Ang weak di ba?
We should really be careful to prevent it and not be their “mark”.
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I agree with you about Shangri-la guards being more alert. I am more confident bringing my children there instead of other malls. Podium seems to be good as well.